September 14, 2003 - 9:13 am
I got an email the other day, from my mom. She and my father divorced when I was two, and looking back, I think my father still loved her. And, now that he's gone, I can see that she still loved him....hence all the tension and mean words between them all those years.
Here's the email - subject line reads: About your father, from your mother...
In the silent moments of the day,
In those silent moments of the evening
you always come to mind.
Sadly at first…
Then your face, that smile
comes into focus and fills
the canvas before my eyes.
I can see you smiling,
can see your brow furrowed
when a new thought momentarily perplexed you.
And then the laugh…
That laugh.
I see you outdoors
arms outstretched to grab the sun, the moon,
the earth
your head thrown back to catch
every ray of light,
every speck of beauty possible
at that
exact
precious
moment.
And then I remember, I know
that such a strong spirit,
such a lover of nature
will always be found,
be felt
in every beautiful morning
with each amazing sunset
in every season that passes,
and every breeze
that kisses your cheek.
*Sigh*
I guess I'm not the only one who misses him.
His cousin, N, is dying with a very quick moving lung cancer. I know he's with her. In a really warped sense, I halfway envy her, knowing she's going to see my father, and Gran, and rest of the family again. Mind you, I'm not going to be jumping off of any buildings or anything....but I can only imagine what she's going through. Half relief, half fear. Whew.
I've gotta run, little man needs someone to play "Ba!" with!
~L
