May 19, 2003 - 6:51 am
I spend a lot of time thinking these days. Thinking, but not writing.
It's so hard to sit down and take time for ME these days. With LittleH at my side 24/7 it seems that there has been little time to be one with my thoughts lately.
Except the time I spend driving. LittleH falls asleep in the car, and I drive, and drive, and drive, so that he can have a nap. (If I get him out to put him down, he wakes up. And, having napped a few minutes...well, consider it a power nap!) But, driving isn't exactly conducive to computer entries. Hence, my lack of updates.
I've still not been able to bring myself to go IN to Dad's house since he's been gone. I go TO his house, as I find it a comfort to be near a place and in surroundings that I find 'home'. But, I just can't go inside. Which, of course, makes it difficult to get cleaned out and rented out. But, I just. can't.
Pathetic, isn't it?
I miss him. Terribly. He was my buddy. My summer friend who took me fishing, motorcycling, boat riding, walking in the woods, mushroom hunting, pawpaw finding, persimmion hunting, and so on.
Damnit.
He was the one that I hung out with. At the time, I didn't see it for that...it was just something to do. I hate this.
Father's day is going to be a rough one this year.
I didn't want this to be a sad entry - I didn't even realize I was feeling 'sad', really...but there it is.
Gotta go, motherhood calls...
~L
