October 03, 2003 - 8:54 pm
So help me God, I'm going to bump my husband off, if he keeps this up.
He's been on this "poor me" tyrade lately, and it's getting old. Very old.
Or, perhaps it because it's really POOR ME....*grins*
He's got this thing, where he feels that I don't care about what he things/feels. Right. Little does he realize that I spend the entire day caring about everyone else - hell, I've not even showered in 3 days due to my caring about everyone else.
Today, for example.
I spent the day breaking my ass with LittleH in the backpack carrier decorating a cake. Think it's easy decorating a wedding cake with a 23lb sack of wiggling potatoes on your back? No.
So, why did I do it, you ask? Because I knew that when Hub got home he wouldn't want to entertain H enthusiastically enough to satisfy LittleH. And, that it would become an "event" for me to get my work done.
I also knew that Hub has been getting up early and working early hours, and that he'd be tired. So, I did what I had to do to get it done so that he didn't have to deal.
Fine.
So, what do I get in return? Hub wants to go to an auction tomorrow. But, the cake has to be delivered at noon....right in the middle of an auction. So. Stinking. Sorry.
I need him to help me with H when I deliver the cake, to help me get the tiers centered, etc. It's not something I can really do without him.
When I told him that we couldn't deliver early (I asked), he got all quiet, which equals pissy.
I told him I was sorry, but that I didn't know what other options we had, and when he didn't offer any options...well, I left it at that.
We spent our entire evening out at dinner discussing how insensitive to his needs/wants I am. How he never gets to do anything that HE wants to....(insert violin solo here), and how he only considers what I want when he makes decisions. Rrrrriiiiiiggght.
Mmmk. So, you can see how happy I am about this, right?
What he fails to see is that I break my ass all day, every day, to make sure that he and my son have a nice, happy, clean, place to live. That our child is well cared for, played with, fed balanced meals, and happy. That our dog is taken care of, clean, exercised, and healthy. That our house is...well, you get the idea.
And, yes....that he's taken care of, his things are taken care of, and that he's as happy as I can make him.
So, I was offended at his statement - especially after spending the day trying to make sure that he didn't have to take on a 1-year old when he was "exhausted from work".
Then, I was told that my reaction to our discussion - ie, quiet reflection, was inappropriate.
Jesus.
I'm so happy today's Friday and I have a weekend of this.
On happier notes, I finished said cake, and have redecorated Dad's headstone for Fall.
My bed, and a very sweet little boy await me...
~L
