October 02, 2004 - 11:06 am
Well, I'm starting to freak out. My mother has been diagnosed for several years now, with Parkinson's Disease. She's only 52, and she was diagnosed with Young Onset Parkinson's.
She's starting, slowly, to forget things. And, it's scaring the crap out of me.
She deals with the tremors, etc. really well. She's very Pollyannaish in that she's either completely optimistic that they'll find a cure, or she's in denial - but either way, she's mostly happy.
There was an incident last weekend where she did something on one day that I told her she shouldn't do in regards with Little H. Then, the next day, she did it again. She claimed she didn't know. I got kind of mad and she told my grandmother (her mom) that she was starting to forget things. I had noticed this for awhile, but thought that perhaps (since they were relatively minor things) that she was just busy or preoccupied and not listening to me fully.
So, that's that.
There's the issue, though, of my step father. He's kind of an ass and I can see that when my mother *does* get bad, that we're going to disagree on her care. He's told me that she's going to die a terrible death, in a lump on a bed, gasping from pneumonia. That may be damn near the truth...but it's a little crass to say, don't you think? He also said that he'd rather throw himself in front of a train then deal with what mom will eventually deal with in her illness. That also may be true. But, this is my mother.
Sigh.
And, naturally, he'll be the one with power of attorney, as he's her husband.
I'm not sure where I'm going with this...other than I'm scared to death of losing my best friend. Scared to death of losing my only parent. Scared to death that she won't remember things before long.
Sorry for the refreshing post...geesh.
On a happier note, I have fresh apple butter brewing in my crock pot, and a cider brined chicken awaiting a good roast.
Mmmm.
~L
